Keys to overcome the “Wendy syndrome” or the need to satisfy the other

The "Wendy syndrome" has its roots in popular psychology.

However, despite not being a disorder recognized by psicodiagnóstico manuals, collect certain aspects that do translate into clinical dimensions that require treatment.


Focus our existence in another's care causes a gradual self-destruction. The lowering of self-esteem or physical and mental exhaustion can lead perfectly into a depression.

The classical literature has brought us very often authentic archetypes able to describe very real behavior.

The "syndrome Wendy", the "Peter Pan syndrome", the "syndrome of Otelo" or "syndrome of Alice in Wonderland" describe disorders, problems and behaviors where fiction becomes many times reality.

Now, we could say unequivocally that that the title of this article is the most common of all.

Somehow, many women internalize, not by imposition, but because so we have seen in previous generations and because they feel.

Because who cares and caters loves. That give everything is, apparently, an exceptional way to love. However, sometimes we forget something: who gives also deserves and should receive. 

That's where the problem starts, emotional dissonance, sadness. We propose to think about it through the following keys.

Wendy syndrome or progressive self-denial

While this syndrome, as noted, is related to the popular psychology, symptoms which is very clear:

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  • We understand that love is, above all, serve the other.
  • For a long time we feel good to establish this kind of relationship. This is how we understand love.
  • We are not concerned (at first) that others do not listen to us equally. We just know that your partner feel loved for us and he's happy. Thus we feel good.
  • We do it so that those around us do not get angry, do not bother. We fight for the foreign balance forgetting ours.
  • However, gradually we realize that others perceive every effort and every waiver carried out as "normal". To the point of becoming tyrannical and demanding.

If the same is what you are experiencing at present, it notes certain aspects that you should change.

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He understands that love is not sacrifice love is giving and receiving

Many have been brought up on the idea that love must give up certain things to ensure the relationship. If you want someone, "you have to shut up" many things.

They have also made us believe that we must say "yes" when what we think is "no". To want is, above all, prioritize other before ourselves.

If you also have integrated these patterns of thought, begins to collapse them to accommodate new ones:

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  • Love is not giving up. If you quit you become an ersatz yourself.
  • A loving relationship should be mature and aware. Both members must give, no doubt, but just as important is to receive. +
  • It is to team, to harmonize strengths, interests and needs.
  • Wendy's syndrome there is always one offers and one receiving. One winning and one that gradually loses.
  • However, the real problem is that the other person does not realize it. At the start of the relationship you feel happy watching, caring, looking every detail to offer maximum comfort.
  • However, with months or years, we noticed "something wrong". In the end everything we do is taken for granted, not appreciated and, moreover, is required.

We must not fall into this difficult and unhappy mazes.

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Ideas to focus otherwise emotional relationships

First and essential advice: You never fail to be yourself However much you love the other person. Otherwise, sooner or later, frustration, discomfort, unhappiness will appear.

See also "love is in the details"

Cares, protects, gives, gives, resignation ... Now, your partner should also take care of you, grant you, give you and perform any waiver by you. However, puntualicemos: we waivers provided they are for the common good.

  • Do not apologize for something that is not your responsibility.
  • The greatest fear people with Wendy syndrome is being abandoned. To prevent this from happening can do anything (we should never get to this end).
  • We need to learn to be happy alone. Enjoy ourselves to the point of knowing that If we were unmated the world is not going to end.
  • Learn to turn to correct your thought patterns, especially those that bring suffering. This way you will create new emotions that become stronger.
  • Breaking ideas like "best care if I want more," "it is better to give up this and so will notice how I want it."
  • Stop projecting all your hopes, desires and energies on the other person. Hands out and do it fairly. You deserve my love and I deserve your respect.

Remember, in love deserve dignity. Do not accept discounts: learn to receive and fight for your personal integrity.

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